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About Digital Art / Hobbyist Member MariaOther/United States Groups :icondisturbed-minds: Disturbed-Minds
 
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Ooh, a status bar thingie... So Deviant Art has become MyFaceTwitterArtBook? 
The whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me... *insert whatever deity you believe in or lack thereof, here.* 

There was a reason why I stopped doing art. I kept telling myself that it was all going to be okay and that I would eventually get over the feeling of not wanting to do art anymore. 
I lied to myself. 
I lied every day to myself. 

Feeling scared, losing my passion for so many things, becoming monotonous and boring, I honestly thought it was just a phase I was going through. This however was part of a lie I told myself to assure myself that everything was fine. Everything was perfect. What more could I have asked for in life? 
... 
The abusive relationship I was in. That's what more I could have asked for. 
Three years. Three whole years of being told in so many words that I was stupid, not good enough, not compliant enough, not willing to do anything with my partner enough, and even when I nearly died from having a TIA (a mini-stroke in other words) due to the stress I was put under, things still didn't change. I was on my way to making changes, I was on my way to improving things and when I realized that I had control, all I had to do was take it and put my foot down and that's when things finally changed. It was just that one more "Go fuck yourself" and that one more name calling session that ended it... and now I'm finally free. 

Free to indulge my passions, free to love life again and that dark shadow that's always been hanging over me is finally gone. I don't feel it anymore. 
I'm still healing but today was one of those days where I just felt more alive than I have in a very long time. I just finished building a new PC which I've taken to callling "Beastie" and with a new tablet and my trusty Photoshop, I'm ready to return to the world of art. (ZOMG, my Skyrim screenshots are teh uber...>w<) 

I hope no one has forgotten me, if you have that's totally okay. I'm just here for the win now. :D (Big Grin)  
  • Mood: Content
  • Listening to: Various
  • Reading: NASA classifieds
  • Watching: Vine vids. This shit is like crack
  • Playing: Skyrim and Mass Effect
  • Eating: Healthy
  • Drinking: Water
The whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me... *insert whatever deity you believe in or lack thereof, here.* 

There was a reason why I stopped doing art. I kept telling myself that it was all going to be okay and that I would eventually get over the feeling of not wanting to do art anymore. 
I lied to myself. 
I lied every day to myself. 

Feeling scared, losing my passion for so many things, becoming monotonous and boring, I honestly thought it was just a phase I was going through. This however was part of a lie I told myself to assure myself that everything was fine. Everything was perfect. What more could I have asked for in life? 
... 
The abusive relationship I was in. That's what more I could have asked for. 
Three years. Three whole years of being told in so many words that I was stupid, not good enough, not compliant enough, not willing to do anything with my partner enough, and even when I nearly died from having a TIA (a mini-stroke in other words) due to the stress I was put under, things still didn't change. I was on my way to making changes, I was on my way to improving things and when I realized that I had control, all I had to do was take it and put my foot down and that's when things finally changed. It was just that one more "Go fuck yourself" and that one more name calling session that ended it... and now I'm finally free. 

Free to indulge my passions, free to love life again and that dark shadow that's always been hanging over me is finally gone. I don't feel it anymore. 
I'm still healing but today was one of those days where I just felt more alive than I have in a very long time. I just finished building a new PC which I've taken to callling "Beastie" and with a new tablet and my trusty Photoshop, I'm ready to return to the world of art. (ZOMG, my Skyrim screenshots are teh uber...>w<) 

I hope no one has forgotten me, if you have that's totally okay. I'm just here for the win now. :D (Big Grin)  
  • Mood: Content
  • Listening to: Various
  • Reading: NASA classifieds
  • Watching: Vine vids. This shit is like crack
  • Playing: Skyrim and Mass Effect
  • Eating: Healthy
  • Drinking: Water

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House-of-Kadamon
Maria
Artist | Hobbyist | Digital Art
United States
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:iconvenom-v13:
Venom-V13 Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2014
Happy Birthday!
Reply
:iconchrisozfulton:
ChrisOzFulton Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2014  Professional Traditional Artist
Happy b-day!!!!
Reply
:iconomniae:
Omniae Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Happy birthday! :la: :iconb-daycakeplz:
Reply
:iconkirschenwasser:
Kirschenwasser Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
Happy birthday, love! :lol: :party: :cake:
Reply
:iconjoeyjo:
joeyjo Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Happy birthday :) :cake:
Reply
:iconkoridid:
KoriDiD Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2014
Thanks for watching!
Reply
:iconhouse-of-kadamon:
House-of-Kadamon Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You're welcome. :D
Reply
:icontrumi:
trumi Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2013
I am glad you are ok,active and hard working.

To be honest I needed a break...
Well,come think of it,I'll vary my poses on January 2014.
Reply
:iconeveiounc-meath:
eveiounc-meath Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Actually about this one forum.About the Lion King starting themem lyrics I found out on Tumblr that it basically is "Hay a lion I think it's a lion yes it's a lion."The rest I forget but I couldn't stop laughing.
Reply
:iconkirschenwasser:
Kirschenwasser Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
I just had to think about you and thought why not leaving a little "hey" into your comments? :)

HEY! Oh guuurl, how I miss you and your beautiful soulll~! :stare:
Reply
:iconhouse-of-kadamon:
House-of-Kadamon Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Aww! Baby Cakes! I am so sorry for being so incredibly absent, I've just been moving into my brand new house and I'm getting ready to fly to America again soon. :hug: 
It's been so hectic and busy but soon I'll be back in action. 
Reply
:iconkirschenwasser:
Kirschenwasser Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
I wait patiently for your return. :hug:
As long as I can write with you every now and then the world is okay ... OKAY I SAY! NOT PERFECT! :stare:

:XD:
Reply
:iconhouse-of-kadamon:
House-of-Kadamon Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I DEMAND PERFECTION IN THE FORM OF A LOVE NOTE! ... a dripping one. :hug: 
Reply
:iconleilei-ko:
LeiLei-ko Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
*big gigantic hugs* How have you been doing? T_T I miss yoouu.. I'm less busy now though! <3
Reply
:iconhouse-of-kadamon:
House-of-Kadamon Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I'm well thanks, just busy as all hell. 
:hug: How are things with you? 
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