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About Digital Art / Hobbyist MariaOther/United States Groups :icondisturbed-minds: Disturbed-Minds
 
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2015-03-04 00036 by House-of-Kadamon
2015-03-04 00036
Dicking around in Skyrim. 
From the left, Midnight, back row, Psysha and Corellon, Triné Grey-Fell and Ulfric Stormcloak (of all people, xD.)
I'm not sure where I was going with this screenshot, but I thought it look sweet. :)  

All characters belong to me except for Ulfric Stormcloak. 
The Elder Scrolls: Skyrim belongs to Bethesda. 
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Crimson Prev WiP by House-of-Kadamon
Crimson Prev WiP
I am painting! Honest! Here's a preview of my latest piece I'm working on to get the juices flowing again. 
It's still a bit difficult but I'm taking it one step at a time. 
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Ashkae and Alexander - Healing a Broken Heart by House-of-Kadamon
Ashkae and Alexander - Healing a Broken Heart
Very rough, very quick sketch to shake the cobwebs off... 
The sketch is of Ashkae and Alexander... 

Seriously, this man didn't deserve half the shit he went through and his heart was broken. The last thing he did? "Oh it's okay, you've done something you thought was wrong, wife, but it's all right, I still love and care for you." ... Sounds eerily familiar in my own real life abusive shit for a relationship, which has subsequently ended, thank the gods above. 
Like all things hurt and mangled, hearts call be healed.
I did this as part of my healing as well. It's still taking me a bit, but I make progress everyday and things get a little easier.  

Ashkae belongs to my Goofball Goober-Head :iconhelena-lou: 
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That weird moment when you realize painting Altmer foreheads make them look a lot angrier than they seem. I also just realized Altmer means 'old elf/fairy' ...
I don't think Corellon is a fairy though. I don't think his son, Ethalonnen will end up being one either.  Oooh, Thalmor uniforms... *ka-dunk.* BANANA! 
Jeezus fuck... I need to remember that I'm watching Game of Thrones! THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A HAPPY FUCKING ENDING! 
The whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me... *insert whatever deity you believe in or lack thereof, here.* 

There was a reason why I stopped doing art. I kept telling myself that it was all going to be okay and that I would eventually get over the feeling of not wanting to do art anymore. 
I lied to myself. 
I lied every day to myself. 

Feeling scared, losing my passion for so many things, becoming monotonous and boring, I honestly thought it was just a phase I was going through. This however was part of a lie I told myself to assure myself that everything was fine. Everything was perfect. What more could I have asked for in life? 
... 
The abusive relationship I was in. That's what more I could have asked for. 
Three years. Three whole years of being told in so many words that I was stupid, not good enough, not compliant enough, not willing to do anything with my partner enough, and even when I nearly died from having a TIA (a mini-stroke in other words) due to the stress I was put under, things still didn't change. I was on my way to making changes, I was on my way to improving things and when I realized that I had control, all I had to do was take it and put my foot down and that's when things finally changed. It was just that one more "Go fuck yourself" and that one more name calling session that ended it... and now I'm finally free. 

Free to indulge my passions, free to love life again and that dark shadow that's always been hanging over me is finally gone. I don't feel it anymore. 
I'm still healing but today was one of those days where I just felt more alive than I have in a very long time. I just finished building a new PC which I've taken to callling "Beastie" and with a new tablet and my trusty Photoshop, I'm ready to return to the world of art. (ZOMG, my Skyrim screenshots are teh uber...>w<) 

I hope no one has forgotten me, if you have that's totally okay. I'm just here for the win now. :D (Big Grin)  
  • Mood: Content
  • Listening to: Various
  • Reading: NASA classifieds
  • Watching: Vine vids. This shit is like crack
  • Playing: Skyrim and Mass Effect
  • Eating: Healthy
  • Drinking: Water

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House-of-Kadamon
Maria
Artist | Hobbyist | Digital Art
United States
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:iconeveiounc-meath:
eveiounc-meath Featured By Owner Edited Jan 13, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Heeeey sorry iv been gone. How are you these days.
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:iconhouse-of-kadamon:
House-of-Kadamon Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Last night was not a good night for me. I'm having bouts of Insomnia and I'm not really coping as well as I should be. 
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:iconeveiounc-meath:
eveiounc-meath Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
I had the same thing happen randomly it was nutty normally I sleep like a log but man I couldnt even get comfortable for like a month I ended sleeping crazy hours it seems that either Im tired for no reason or cant sleep at all.I guess it could be stress maybe.
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:iconharleyquinn2018:
harleyquinn2018 Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thx for the fav :)
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:iconhouse-of-kadamon:
House-of-Kadamon Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You're perfectly welcome my dear. 
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:iconvenom-v13:
Venom-V13 Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2014
Happy Birthday!
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:iconchrisozfulton:
ChrisOzFulton Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2014  Professional Traditional Artist
Happy b-day!!!!
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:iconn-ink:
N-ink Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Happy birthday! :la: :iconb-daycakeplz:
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:iconkirschenwasser:
Kirschenwasser Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Happy birthday, love! :lol: :party: :cake:
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:iconjoeyjo:
joeyjo Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Happy birthday :) :cake:
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:iconkoridid:
KoriDiD Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2014
Thanks for watching!
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:iconhouse-of-kadamon:
House-of-Kadamon Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You're welcome. :D
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:icontrumi:
trumi Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2013
I am glad you are ok,active and hard working.

To be honest I needed a break...
Well,come think of it,I'll vary my poses on January 2014.
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:iconeveiounc-meath:
eveiounc-meath Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Actually about this one forum.About the Lion King starting themem lyrics I found out on Tumblr that it basically is "Hay a lion I think it's a lion yes it's a lion."The rest I forget but I couldn't stop laughing.
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:iconkirschenwasser:
Kirschenwasser Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I just had to think about you and thought why not leaving a little "hey" into your comments? :)

HEY! Oh guuurl, how I miss you and your beautiful soulll~! :stare:
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